A local craftsman from right here in LA was given the prestigious contract to make the Olympic medals for the 2024 Paris Olympics, but things have taken a wild turn. That’s right, folks—athletes are reporting that their hard-earned gold medals are chipping, revealing the scandalous and absurd truth: they’re not real gold, but spray-painted chocolate coins!
The man behind the medals, Jack Thompson, known for his birdhouse art, was somehow tasked with crafting the coveted awards. Instead of the traditional precious metals, Thompson decided to cut costs and add a sweet twist by using large chocolate coins, coating them with gold spray paint.
The deception was uncovered when athletes noticed the paint chipping off and were further shocked to find their medals melting in the summer heat, emitting a sweet cocoa aroma.
Olympic officials are in an uproar, and investigations are underway to determine how this sugary oversight occurred. Thompson, who claimed he wanted to “add a bit of fun” to the games, is now at the center of an international confectionery scandal.
“It’s a bittersweet disaster,” said one official. “The athletes deserve medals, not candy!”
Twenty-three-time Olympic gold medalist and dear friend of the show Simone Biles claims that her gold medals melted into a puddle of warm, rich chocolate when she took them to the beach to show off to her fans. “I went to Paris for Olympic Gold, not chocolate coins,” she said in an exclusive interview with KRC.
Paris is buzzing with outrage and disbelief, as the world watches this chocolate-coated calamity unfold.
It’s a chocolaty scandal in Paris, and all eyes are on LA’s own Jack Thompson for this biff of the century.
